can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
