Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
