I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
