We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
