I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
