My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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