Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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