so let's talk penis.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She even gives head with a lisp.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
