there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Blood and glitter go together right?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
