she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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