I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
