my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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