Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
