I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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