I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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