I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
