My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
