No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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