im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Someone signed my nipple.
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