and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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