"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
