He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
