sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
