You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
