HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
