is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
