May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Never joke about your clitoris.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
