She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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