my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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