apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
