How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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