do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
