Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Acid is not a monday night drug
smell my finger.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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