her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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