I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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