he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
