dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
God, I missed his penis.
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