They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
