He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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