the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
love makes seman taste better
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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