OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
