When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just blew my weed a kiss
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
