Dual....:-)
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
