the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
