Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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