I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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