he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
