After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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