if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
