my sisters under your porch take her home
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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